Diaries of a Late 90’s Preteen. Welcome to My Life.

I originally wanted to post a series of excerpts from my Easy Journal that I created back in 98′. Easy Journal apparently no longer exists and I am pissed because it captured the true essense of being born an 80’s child and growing up in the 90’s. HOWEVER, I have plenty of other non-legitimate stuff to post. I was the first kid with a digital camera, first to start an Easy Journal, first to start a MySpace page… the list goes on. I have plenty of dirt. Let’s start with my ICQ profile. I’m just putting this all out there because it is not right.

First off, my interests include: “Boy & Priest,” “Oil Cakes.” & “Ham shoved up my venus hole.” And if that isn’t bad enough, please review the “about me” poem. Did I mention that I wrote tons of grotesque and perverse poems during puberty? Luckily, I still have some saved saved. This one was written in 2001 when I was 15:

Part 1 (Sex, and love)
Sex and mate
Thou shall not hate
If you were to mate
Then why would you hate
If you have sex, then you like
And you don’t take a hike
If you have sex for fun
Sorry, that is not me hun

Part 2 (sex for fun = slut)
A hoe is a slut
Yes, it’s a mut
A slut is for cash
So don’t get that rash
Once you get those bumps
There will come lumps
It will not be smooth
It will have a groove
So don’t get with a slut
It will ruin your butt

Above: Classic “look at how cool I am” 90’s shots. Apparently bumblebee turtle necks, extra jelled hair, and the wet dog look were “in.”

More 90’s diaries to come. If you can somehow dig up my old Easy Journal, I will send you a free shirt by Polly & Crackers (URL is above in my ICQ profile). Make sure you add us on facebook, bookmark us, or do any of that other ##&! to keep up to date.

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