BP Oil Spill – Alright, I’m Pissed

That’s for you, Tony Hayward

Meet baby ‘Tisha. She is a new-born Floridian who, thanks to the greedy ##&!s at BP, is going to grow into an oil-covered mutant with three boobs, a split tongue, and dysfunctional kidneys [think “Splice,” but actually scary]. And like me, she’s super-pissed about the current environmental disaster and that it is taking so long for a comprehensive solution to be found.

“Splice” Baby

Luckily, ‘Tisha will probably also turn into an environmental activist who will use her slimy super-powers to help save Earth. And at this point, it looks like we need all the help we can get:

Gulf Raped by Oil

Seriously, if this whole mess in the Gulf doesn’t make you want to vomit with frustration and/or disgust then you’re probably someone too ignorant to know the environmental consequences of the oil spill, and this world would be better off without you. So instead of throwing your next plastic bag out your car window, wrap it around your face. Or spray the contents of your aerosol can down your throat. Destroy yourself instead of the planet.

For those of us who are fearful.. who feel sick even thinking about this problem.. what do we do? As much as it sucks to hear, one thing NOT to do is boycott. Even with as much hatred that I [and hopefully you] feel when seeing the BP logo, the unfortunate truth is that boycotting the gas giant is really only hurting your local businessmen. Yes, it lets the company know you’re angry, but there are other ways to show your emotion. Your unspent money is coming out of the pockets of the individuals who own the gas stations and they are typically stuck in long-term contracts with BP. Read this news article for more info.

Death by BP

So the question remains- what do we do? This disaster serves as a warning not only to America, but the entire world, about our dependency of oil and fossil fuels. This should be a final awakening that our overzealous use of oil is real, and that it is beyond time changes be made. Our over-consumption has not only contributed to global warming, but also an obvious decrease of natural resources [the reason for drilling so close off-shore in the first place].

What we need to do is heed Nature’s warning: Enough is Enough.

I’m not just talking about finding individual and communal ways to decrease oil usage, such as riding bikes or carpooling, but also becoming more eco-conscious in all aspects of your life. We can make a change. All of us. A vague answer? Maybe. But unless you know the mechanics of actually containing the spill and cleaning it up, it’s the best we have. So let’s do it.


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