Reasons Why Planet Fitness is NOT Legit

free-pizza-monday-planet-fitness-funny-picture-fatness

Before I begin making fun of Planet Fitness, one of the worst gyms in existence, I must admit that I did once have a membership there [how else would I know it sucks?] But I have since been freed and go to a new gym [with classes!] All of the following pictures are straight from my phone:

1. Pizza Monday

Welcome to Planet Fatness, where on the first Monday night of each month you’re presented with stacks of greasy pizza boxes as soon as you walk in the door. On the first Tuesday morning, it’s bagels. These little “perks” have got to be two of the most hypocritical, counter-productive selling-points of a “health club” that I’ve ever seen. I mean.. seriously?! With free Pizza Monday’s and Bagel Tuesday’s.. you’re more likely to put on an ass than lose it at Planet Fitness.

By claiming to be a “judgement-free zone,” Planet Fitness appeals to the “novice” gym-goer. It offers a friendly environment for newbies to learn the ropes of exercise without being judged by others who are in better shape. Consequently, this means that around 80% of its members are over-weight (at least at my gym). Now don’t read me wrong. PF has a good idea here.. it’s just being horribly executed. Leaving a jar full of tootsie rolls on the front counter and giving members an endless buffet of free pizza once a month is nothing more than a sleazy marketing ploy used to lure new people to the gym so that PF makes more money. Planet Fitness sends a detrimental message to it’s already unhealthy and obese members that eating junk food is OK as long as you’re working out. It’s obvious that they’re more concerned with profit than actually helping over-weight people get in shape.

2. The Lunk Alarm

Lifting free weights? Don’t breathe!! The lunk alarm looms directly above the free weight section and is just waiting to hear you grunt or set a weight down too hard. Mind you, grunting is a natural physical reaction to an intense, fast-paced work-out.. but that doesn’t matter here. I’ve never actually seen this stupid alarm go off (Luckily, I don’t think they use it at my gym) but according to friend’s and members at other gyms, this ugly contraption flashes a purple light and beeps loudly whenever someone is being too noisy. A screeching siren to keep the gym quiet? Now that’s a smart idea.

3. Stupid Signs

Oh, PF.. you so cute & funny! These dumb signs are a newer addition to the gym that try a little too hard to reinforce the fact that it’s for novices: “Not allowed to hold a baby for fear you might crush them? This ain’t your gym” and “Commonly refer to steroids as breakfast? That’s ain’t your gym” Hmm.. a ‘judgement-free’ gym that judges people with muscles? Wrap your brain around that.

4. Hideous Color Scheme

I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that everything Planet Fitness is purple or yellow. EVERYTHING. I remember the first time I walked into PF and how thrown off / repelled I was by their awful color design. It’s something you never really get over and, unless you’re color-blind, it’s non-legitimacy speaks for itself.

5. Free Gym Bag

I always thought my life was missing something, then I got a free gym bag for switching my payment method to direct checking account draft! Now my life is complete. All worries and problems have instantly vanished. All thanks to PF and their cheaply made, $2 gym bag from China.

6. Classes (or lack thereof)

As you can see, Physical Education at Planet Fitness is always free. And for good reason. The ‘classes’ at PF meet at an aluminum table underneath a tacky, hanging sign that says “class meets here.” So yea, it’s a good thing you don’t have to pay anything extra for that. While practically every other fitness center chain in America offers a large variety of high-intensity work-out programs that meet in their own private rooms, PF takes a group of 2-3 people to a few random machines around the gym and passes it off as a ‘class.’ I’d rather have a dodgeball hit my face.

[Originally posted 7/16/11]

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21 Comments

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  1. Last I checked, pizza is a great choice when trying to make gains. Thanks for showing your ignorance, and please stay out of my way at the gym.

  2. To Planet Fitness person,

    Do you not see the oxymoron in claiming no judgement while enforcing the stereotypes often applied to those whom are in shape and have muscular physiques? Your signs are insulting to anyone whom actually lifts weights to improve their health and fitness level. Just because I lift heavy does not mean I judge others whom do not. If grunting in a physical environment intimidates you I believe you need to work on self confidence. I grunt at times because it’s natural when lifting not in an obnoxious manner to be imposing towards others.

    The attitude shown not only at the PF facilities but also in these comments show a lack of professionalism.

    Yes your franchise is quite large but it does not strive to better others or bring in those whom are top level competitors in athletic endeavors. Instead you focus on those whom wish to fool themselves into thinking they are accomplishing a workout while avoiding real stimuli. Show me the best before and after pictures you have of clientele and I will do the same in return. As a nutritionist focused on performance in sport with a small clientele I know I make a positive impact on the lives of the people I work with and I didn’t need to take advantage of anyone’s fears to do so.

  3. “Your immaturity really shows in the tone of your writing” Levi really? You are calling me immature when you hang upside naked and think you’re a vampire? We serve pizza and bagels one day a month to show our members that we appreciate their commitment. They have the choice whether or not to eat them. As far as the racial comments, we do not allow head gear because it creates an intimidating environment regardless of race. By the way, to prove who I am tell me what club you work out at and I will waive the cancelation fee and you will no longer have to work out at the gym you hate so much. Enjoy your next Twilight convention.

    • Your immaturity strikes again via personal attacks against myself and a negative comment under the pseudonym (that means ‘false name’) “Ashley” that comes from the same IP address. (It’s been removed on the basis of spam.) Come on.. as a supposed co-founder of a business with over 3 million members one would think you’d be smarter than that. Stop dancing around the fact that free pizza & bagels & tootsie rolls reinforce negative eating habits for people that are already over-weight by leaving fake comments as other people and continuously attacking my personal life. PS- If you really want to prove who you are.. send me an email from your personal Planet Fitness account to info[at]bestfunnyblog[dot]com and we’ll discuss cancellation from there

      • Hey Levi! This really is Ashley! And it came from the same ip address because I work for Mike you idiot! And you only took down my post because what I said was true and it made you look even more stupid than you already do! I noticed you also took down another one? Why was that? If you are going to write a blog then accept what people have to say back to you and leave them up for the world to see.

  4. As one of the two co-founders of Planet Fitness, I want you to know that you are not the first genius to bring up these points. So don’t be too proud of yourself. We now have 3 million members and more units than any other fitness chain in America. I believe that makes us legitimate. As far as being judgement free, we are only 99 percent judgement free. We save that 1 percent strictly for men of your caliber. Planet Fitness is truly making a difference in America by introducing people to fitness in a non-intimidating way so eventually we will solve the obesity problem, costing the country 147 billion dollars a year. Your unemployment checks will keep coming so you can sit home and wish you made a difference.

    • I would hope I’m not the first “genius” to bring up these points, as they are so blaringly obvious. I’m just helping spread the word, and of that, I am proud. Unfortunately for you, having three million members does not indicate legitimacy, just as Hitler having countless followers did not make him legit, etc. Speaking of racism.. as far as PF being “judgment free” I didn’t even mention the racial exclusion that your gym practiced not too long ago.. as that would take up too much space (maybe another blog post is in order!) Mind you, there are still pictures floating around the Internet of the old signs hanging in the gym barring access to anyone wearing a skull cap (a cultural accessory) or a doo-rag. Finally, as I guess you don’t know, obesity can only be solved through the proper combination of diet and fitness. I think the tootsie rolls, and endless free pizza & bagels you use as a selfish lure speak for themselves on your stance of the “diet” part of that equation. So good luck saving people from their fat while feeding them grease and calories! (PS- Your immaturity really shows in the tone of your writing. You should really work on responding to criticism better; especially if you really are who you claim to be)

      • know how I know you’re “legit?” you take pictures of no cellphone signs with your cell phone. you feel compelled to make it a point to state that you have an iPhone. you feel threatened by being discouraged from being loud and making yourself the center of attention at a gym. you feel compelled to make snarky comments about a free gift and an attempt at humor. you seem to think all black people wear skull caps or do-rags, or that some people are so attached to their so-called “cultural accessories” that they won’t work out in a gym without one. you have a planet fitness membership and go there despite it not being “legit.” you just compared someone that claimed to have founded a gym (specifically, one where people can go to better themselves without being intimidated by obnoxious jerks like you) to hitler. you call things “legit” and act as if it’s some sort of legitimate qualifier for anything, or that you’re the person to judge.

        congrats, I hope you feel good about yourself, and I really do hope you’re proud of yourself. ignorance is bliss, and as long as ignorant people like you exist, they might as well be happy

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