The Best Saggy Pants

The mayor of Dublin, Georgia, Phil Best, finally has the right idea and is expected to sign an ordinance that prohibits the wearing of saggy pants on the grounds that it’s obscene to wear them that way. In fact, he pulls the ruler away from the front to measure the saggy gap in the back, warning that more than three inches below the top of the hips exposing the skin or undergarments will be a punishable crime. What’s more, it puts the offense in same category as masturbation, fornication and urination in public places.

Saggy pants is not a very hot way to describe something as pornographic, indecent, smutty, salacious, dirty, filthy, X-rated, explicit, lewd, rude, vulgar, coarse, crude, offensive, immoral, improper, impure, off-color, degenerate, depraved, debauched, lubricious, risqué, erotic, carnal, lascivious, licentious, bawdy and profane as that. Maybe if they picked a new way to describe them it would be more appealing to the thumpers in Dublin. Truth be told, on the right guy or girl them saggy pants can be damn hot! Butt, it does get pretty damned obscene when the saggee’s booty fat bloats out more than 3 inches over the pants line, which is where I also draw the line. A little legislation might stop a lot of scary buttmares!

Seriously though, good for the mayor, most politicians don’t take enough shit in backlash from promoting bad ideas, and there’s no doubt Mayor Best (a bold contradiction in terms if I ever heard one) will take plenty of pooh for this one. In fact, you have to wonder just how stupid this guy is to think he can pass an ordinance like this and not come under a shit storm of skid marks.

Daily Cents posted a very serious feedback forum about the issue, and there’s no doubt that the smartest minds of our culture have spoken, if not completely coherently:

“The whole matter of the problem is what are you trying to prove by wearing your pants that low.See we as black make it hard on other black by wanting everyone to go along with them when you know it is wrong. do the sagger have resecpt for themself are other.I can see if you didn’t have a belt. so why paid out money you can help do something for yourself when $25-200 is alot to paid to the city by only just pulling them up.”

Or more succinctly:

“I THINK THEY NEED TO MAKE THEM PULL UP THERE PANTS.IT NOT ONLY BLACK THAT DO THIS PULL UP YOUR DAM PANTS.”

I think those two opinions sum it up neatly. And since, after all, the Mayor is probably only doing this to get the people in Dublin, Georgia to forget that they wanted to kick Mayor Best out of office just a month ago for embezzling money through his meeting and mileage reimbursement record. So really, who cares what people think as long as the pot is stirred and everyone has forgotten what a thief he might be. You just gotta love a moral Mayor, and this one’s MAYOR BEST!

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